that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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