I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
