im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize