How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
