I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
