Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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