I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
