we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
