ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
