Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
