she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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