I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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