I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
