Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize