They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A bitchslap is in order.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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