ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
