So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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