dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Drunk is not a location!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
