youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
