my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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