im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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