id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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