i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
