We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
