Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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