He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Plan B is the new Plan A
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
