Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
