Have you finally orgasmed yet?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
