woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
