i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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