she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
sex in a hospital.. check
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
