Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
