My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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