i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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