my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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