If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
