Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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