It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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