Say something about gay babies.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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