dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize