Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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