No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
