First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
