Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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