I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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