Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am available for nakedness
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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