my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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