wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My vagina just clenched in fear
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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