Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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