Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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