I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
