I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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