Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
