I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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