Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
