I got chris browned last night
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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