Sry I called you an 8
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
